N\u00eb minutat e fundit t\u00eb nj\u00eb pasditeje t\u00eb s\u00eb premtes, erdhi nj\u00eb k\u00ebrkes\u00eb nga nj\u00eb klient drejtuar kompanis\u00eb konsulente t\u00eb mir\u00ebnjohur. E para q\u00eb vullnetarisht e ofroi koh\u00ebn, ishte menaxherja grua. Ajo, tashm\u00eb kishte kaluar gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebn duke u takuar me koleg\u00ebt e saj t\u00eb rinj, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt kishin nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr k\u00ebshillime n\u00eb karrier\u00eb, edhe pse nuk ishin pjes\u00eb e ekipit t\u00eb saj. N\u00eb fillim t\u00eb jav\u00ebs kishte trajnuar disa nga t\u00eb rekrutuarit e rinj, kishte ndihmuar nj\u00eb koleg t\u00eb p\u00ebrmir\u00ebsoj nj\u00eb prezantim, dhe kishte r\u00ebn\u00eb dakord t\u00eb planifikoj fest\u00ebn e zyr\u00ebs para pushimeve. Kur kishte ardhur koha p\u00ebr rishqyrtimin e saj p\u00ebr pozit\u00ebn e partneres, rezultati i saj i qart\u00eb si lojtare skuadre, e kombinuar me performanc\u00ebn e saj t\u00eb shk\u00eblqyeshme, duhet ta kishte b\u00ebr\u00eb at\u00eb nj\u00eb fituese. N\u00eb vend t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj, promovimi i saj u vonua p\u00ebr gjasht\u00eb muaj, dhe m\u00eb pas nj\u00eb vit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ky \u00ebsht\u00eb realiteti i hidhur n\u00eb shum\u00eb vende t\u00eb pun\u00ebs anemban\u00eb bot\u00ebs: grat\u00eb ndihmojn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb, por p\u00ebrfitojn\u00eb m\u00eb pak. N\u00eb linj\u00eb me stereotipet gjinore t\u00eb rr\u00ebnjosura thell\u00eb, ne presim q\u00eb burrat t\u00eb jen\u00eb ambicioz\u00eb dhe t\u00eb orientuar drejt rezultateve, dhe grat\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb kujdesshme dhe t\u00eb shoq\u00ebrueshme. Kur nj\u00eb burr\u00eb ofron ndihm\u00eb, ne e lavd\u00ebrojm\u00eb dhe e shp\u00ebrblejm\u00eb. Por, kur nj\u00eb grua ndihmon ne ndihemi m\u00eb pak borxhli. \u00cbsht\u00eb e shoq\u00ebrueshme apo jo? D\u00ebshiron t\u00eb jet\u00eb pjes\u00eb e ekipit? Edhe e kund\u00ebrta \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb. Kur nj\u00eb grua refuzon t\u2019i ndihmoj nj\u00eb kolegu, njer\u00ebzit e p\u00eblqejn\u00eb m\u00eb pak dhe karriera e saj do t\u00eb vuaj. Por, kur nj\u00eb burr\u00eb thot\u00eb jo, ai nuk p\u00ebrballet me reagime. Nj\u00eb burr\u00eb q\u00eb nuk ndihmon \u00ebsht\u00eb i \u201cz\u00ebn\u00eb\u201d nd\u00ebrsa nj\u00eb grua \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201cegoiste\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
N\u00eb nj\u00eb studim t\u00eb udh\u00ebhequr nga psikologia e Universitetit t\u00eb Nju Jorkut, Madeline Heilman, pjes\u00ebmarr\u00ebsit vler\u00ebsuan performanc\u00ebn e nj\u00eb punonj\u00ebsi, burr\u00eb ose grua, q\u00eb q\u00ebndroi ose nuk q\u00ebndroi von\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndihmuar koleg\u00ebt t\u00eb p\u00ebrgatiteshin p\u00ebr nj\u00eb takim t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm. P\u00ebr q\u00ebndrimin von\u00eb dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndihmuar, nj\u00eb burr\u00eb u vler\u00ebsua 14 p\u00ebr qind m\u00eb favorsh\u00ebm se nj\u00eb grua. Kur t\u00eb dyja pal\u00ebt refuzuan, nj\u00eb grua u vler\u00ebsua 12 p\u00ebr qind m\u00eb pak se nj\u00eb burr\u00eb. Pas dh\u00ebnies s\u00eb ndihm\u00ebs identike, nj\u00eb burr\u00eb kishte shum\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb gjasa t\u00eb rekomandohej p\u00ebr ngritje n\u00eb detyr\u00eb, projekte t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme, ngritje t\u00eb pag\u00ebs dhe shp\u00ebrblime. Nj\u00eb grua duhej t\u00eb ndihmonte vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb marr\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin vler\u00ebsim si nj\u00eb burr\u00eb q\u00eb nuk ndihmoi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jo shum\u00eb koh\u00eb m\u00eb par\u00eb, nj\u00eb drejtuese e lart\u00eb grua q\u00eb ne e njohim, ishte ulur n\u00eb nj\u00eb mbledhje bordi pran\u00eb disa koleg\u00ebve t\u00eb rinj meshkuj, kur kryetari i bordit i k\u00ebrkoi asaj t’i sillte nj\u00eb pije.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Profesorja e Harvardit, Rosabeth Moss Kanter, v\u00ebrejti se grat\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb pjes\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe t\u00eb “pun\u00ebve t\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb s\u00eb zyr\u00ebs” – detyra administrative q\u00eb ndihmojn\u00eb, por nuk paguhen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dikush duhet t\u00eb mbaj\u00eb sh\u00ebnime, t\u00eb sh\u00ebrbej\u00eb n\u00eb komitete dhe t\u00eb planifikoj\u00eb mbledhje – dhe ashtu nj\u00ebjt\u00eb, si\u00e7 ndodh me pun\u00ebt e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, dikush \u00ebsht\u00eb zakonisht nj\u00eb grua.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Joan C. Williams, nj\u00eb profesore n\u00eb Kolegjin Juridik t\u00eb Hastings t\u00eb Universitetit t\u00eb Kalifornis\u00eb, zbulon se grat\u00eb profesioniste n\u00eb biznes, drejt\u00ebsi, dhe shkenc\u00eb ende pritet t\u00eb sjellin biskota, t’u p\u00ebrgjigjen telefonatave dhe t\u00eb mbajn\u00eb sh\u00ebnime. K\u00ebto aktivitete nuk humbin vet\u00ebm koh\u00eb t\u00eb vlefshme; ato gjithashtu b\u00ebjn\u00eb q\u00eb grat\u00eb t\u00eb humbasin mund\u00ebsit\u00eb. Personi q\u00eb mban sh\u00ebnime me kujdes n\u00eb takim, pothuajse kurr\u00eb nuk e thot\u00eb vendimin e fundit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kur burrat ndihmojn\u00eb, ata kan\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb gjasa ta b\u00ebjn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb n\u00eb publik, nd\u00ebrsa grat\u00eb ndihmojn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb n\u00eb prapasken\u00eb. Studimet tregojn\u00eb se burrat kan\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb gjasa t\u00eb kontribuojn\u00eb me sjellje t\u00eb dukshme \u2013 si paraqitja n\u00eb takime universitare \u2013 nd\u00ebrsa grat\u00eb angazhohen m\u00eb privatisht<\/p>\n\n\n\n
n\u00eb aktivitete q\u00eb k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb koh\u00eb, si ndihmimi e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve dhe mentorimi i koleg\u00ebve. Si\u00e7 vuri n\u00eb dukje profesori i menaxhimit t\u00eb Kolegjit Simmons, Joyce K. Fletcher, kontributet shoq\u00ebrore t\u00eb grave priren thjesht t\u00eb “zhduken”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
T\u00eb kesh ndihm\u00ebn e njer\u00ebzve, si n\u00eb prapasken\u00eb ashtu edhe n\u00eb publik, \u00ebsht\u00eb thelb\u00ebsore p\u00ebr sukses organizativ. Hulumtimet tregojn\u00eb se ekipet me sjellje m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe ndihm\u00ebse arrijn\u00eb fitime, shitje, cil\u00ebsi, efektivitet, t\u00eb ardhura dhe k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe t\u00eb klientit. Por t\u00eb b\u00ebsh pun\u00eb t\u00eb st\u00ebrngarkuar mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb nj\u00eb \u00e7mim psikologjik. N\u00eb nj\u00eb analiz\u00eb t\u00eb 183 studimeve t\u00eb ndryshme q\u00eb p\u00ebrfshinin 15 vende dhe dhjet\u00ebra profesione, grat\u00eb kishin shum\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb gjasa t\u00eb ndiheshin t\u00eb rraskapitura emocionalisht. N\u00eb p\u00ebrpjekjen e tyre p\u00ebr t’u kujdesur p\u00ebr t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, grat\u00eb shpesh sakrifikojn\u00eb veten. P\u00ebr \u00e7do 1000 njer\u00ebz n\u00eb pun\u00eb, 80 gra m\u00eb shum\u00eb se burra digjen – kryesisht sepse nuk arrijn\u00eb t\u00eb sigurojn\u00eb maskat e tyre t\u00eb oksigjenit p\u00ebrpara se t\u00eb ndihmojn\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ashtu si\u00e7 duhet t\u00eb ribalancojm\u00eb pun\u00ebt e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb dhe kujdesin ndaj f\u00ebmij\u00ebve n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, ne gjithashtu duhet t\u00eb barazojm\u00eb dhe vler\u00ebsojm\u00eb \u201cpun\u00ebt e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb\u201d n\u00eb zyr\u00eb. Kjo do t\u00eb thot\u00eb fillimisht t\u00eb pranosh \u00e7ekuilibrin dhe m\u00eb pas ta korrigjosh at\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Shumica e organizatave b\u00ebjn\u00eb vler\u00ebsimin e rregullt t\u00eb arritjeve individuale. Pse t\u00eb mos evidentoni edhe aktet e ndihm\u00ebs? Caktimi i detyrave t\u00eb p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebta n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb barabart\u00eb, n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb varen nga vullnetar\u00ebt, mund t\u00eb siguroj\u00eb gjithashtu q\u00eb puna mb\u00ebshtet\u00ebse t\u00eb ndahet, v\u00ebrehet dhe vler\u00ebsohet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
P\u00ebr grat\u00eb, ndryshimi m\u00eb i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm fillon me nj\u00eb ndryshim n\u00eb mentalitet: N\u00ebse duam t\u00eb kujdesemi p\u00ebr t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, duhet t\u00eb kujdesemi edhe p\u00ebr veten. Nj\u00eb nga koleg\u00ebt tan\u00eb, Adam, ka kryer dhe rishikuar studime t\u00eb shumta, q\u00eb tregojn\u00eb se grat\u00eb (dhe burrat), arrijn\u00eb performanc\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb dhe p\u00ebrjetojn\u00eb rraskapitje m\u00eb t\u00eb ul\u00ebt, kur i japin p\u00ebrpar\u00ebsi nevojave t\u00eb tyre s\u00eb bashku me nevojat e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve. Duke v\u00ebn\u00eb shqet\u00ebsimin p\u00ebr veten n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin nivel me shqet\u00ebsimin p\u00ebr t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, grat\u00eb mund t\u00eb ndihen m\u00eb pak altruiste, por ato jan\u00eb n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb fitojn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb ndikim dhe t\u00eb mbajn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb energji. N\u00eb fund t\u00eb fundit, ato mund t\u00eb japin m\u00eb shum\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
N\u00eb firm\u00ebn e konsulenc\u00ebs, menaxherja grua q\u00eb u transferua pas promovimit n\u00eb detyr\u00eb gjeti m\u00ebnyra m\u00eb efikase p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndihmuar. N\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb takohej nj\u00eb me nj\u00eb me dhjet\u00ebra koleg\u00eb t\u00eb rinj, ajo filloi t\u00eb ftonte t\u00eb mentoruarit p\u00ebr dreka n\u00eb grup. Kjo kurseu koh\u00ebn e saj dhe krijoi nj\u00eb rrjet mb\u00ebshtet\u00ebs p\u00ebr ta p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndihmuar nj\u00ebri-tjetrin. N\u00eb vend q\u00eb t’i kushtonte shum\u00eb koh\u00eb telefonatave me pyetje t\u00eb shumta, ajo shkroi nj\u00eb manual me Pyetjet m\u00eb t\u00eb Shpeshta dhe e ndau at\u00eb me koleg\u00ebt. Dhe kur klient\u00ebt b\u00ebnin k\u00ebrkesa t\u00eb paarsyeshme, n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb thoshte se ishte shum\u00eb e z\u00ebn\u00eb, ajo shpjegonte se kjo do ta shtynte ekipin e saj t\u00eb kalonte n\u00eb pik\u00ebn e thyerjes. Duke shpjeguar se po mbronte t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, ajo ishte n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb thoshte jo, por ende dukej se po jepte dhe kujdesej. Pasi b\u00ebri k\u00ebto ndryshime, ajo u promovua n\u00eb pozit\u00ebn e partneres.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Burrat mund t\u00eb ndihmojn\u00eb n\u00eb zgjidhjen e k\u00ebtij problemi duke ngritur z\u00ebrin. N\u00eb artikullin ton\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebparsh\u00ebm, kemi v\u00ebrejtur se burrat e kan\u00eb zakon t\u00eb dominojn\u00eb takimet dhe t\u00eb nd\u00ebrpresin grat\u00eb duke folur. N\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb mos flasin, burrat mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrdorin z\u00ebrin e tyre p\u00ebr t\u00eb t\u00ebrhequr v\u00ebmendjen te kontributet e grave. Burrat gjithashtu mund t\u2019i ndihmojn\u00eb k\u00ebsaj \u00e7\u00ebshtje duke b\u00ebr\u00eb pjes\u00ebn e tyre t\u00eb pun\u00ebs s\u00eb kujdesit dhe k\u00ebshillimit. N\u00eb nj\u00eb ngjarje t\u00eb fundit q\u00eb mor\u00ebm pjes\u00eb, 30 shefa ekzekutiv\u00eb u mblodh\u00ebn rreth nj\u00eb tavoline darke p\u00ebr nj\u00eb bised\u00eb rreth mbylljes s\u00eb hendekut gjinor. Me nj\u00eb p\u00ebrzierje t\u00eb barabart\u00eb t\u00eb burrave dhe grave n\u00eb dhom\u00eb, ne prisnim q\u00eb \u201cpun\u00ebt e<\/p>\n\n\n\n
sht\u00ebpis\u00eb\u201d s\u00eb zyr\u00ebs t’i takonin nj\u00eb gruaje. Por i vetmi person q\u00eb mbajti sh\u00ebnime gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb koh\u00ebs ishte themeluesi i Virgin Group, Richard Branson.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDuke u munduar t\u00eb b\u00ebsh mir\u00eb gjen keq\u201d. Nuk duhet t\u00eb jet\u00eb k\u00ebshtu. T\u00eb gjith\u00eb ne mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrfitojm\u00eb duke inkurajuar si burrat, ashtu edhe grat\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndihmuar, dhe t\u2019i shp\u00ebrblejm\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb barabart\u00eb kur e b\u00ebjn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n