{"id":1914,"date":"2021-06-09T13:33:10","date_gmt":"2021-06-09T12:33:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/qika.org\/?post_type=lexo-post&p=1914"},"modified":"2021-06-09T13:35:18","modified_gmt":"2021-06-09T12:35:18","slug":"pse-grate-ndonjehere-nuk-i-ndihmojne-grate-e-tjera","status":"publish","type":"lexo-post","link":"https:\/\/qika.org\/en\/lexo-post\/pse-grate-ndonjehere-nuk-i-ndihmojne-grate-e-tjera\/","title":{"rendered":"Pse grat\u00eb (ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb) nuk i ndihmojn\u00eb grat\u00eb e tjera?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Kjo nuk ndodh\u00eb p\u00ebr shkak se ato jan\u00eb natyrsh\u00ebm udh\u00ebheq\u00ebse m\u00eb t\u00eb ashpra se burrat, por p\u00ebr shkak se ato shpesh i p\u00ebrgjigjen seksizmit duke e distancuar veten nga grat\u00eb tjera.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ekzistojn\u00eb dy ide kulturore q\u00eb mbizot\u00ebrojn\u00eb mbi rolin q\u00eb grat\u00eb luajn\u00eb n\u00eb ndihm\u00ebn q\u00eb ato i\u2019u ofrojn\u00eb grave t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb p\u00ebrparojn\u00eb n\u00eb pun\u00eb dhe si duket kemi dy bashk\u00ebdyzime: Gruaja e Drejt\u00eb dhe Mbret\u00ebresha Blet\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gruaja e drejt\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb idealja, ajo besohet se kryen rolin e gruas e cila mbart\u00eb detyrimin moral p\u00ebr t\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetur grat\u00eb e tjera. E kjo m\u00eb s\u00eb miri tipizohet n\u00eb th\u00ebnien e famshme t\u00eb Madeline Albright: \u201cKa nj\u00eb vend t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb n\u00eb ferr p\u00ebr grat\u00eb q\u00eb nuk ndihmojn\u00eb nj\u00ebra tjetr\u00ebn\u201d. Ideja baz\u00eb e t\u00ebr\u00eb k\u00ebsaj \u00ebsht\u00eb: megjith\u00ebse t\u00eb gjitha grat\u00eb kan\u00eb p\u00ebrjetuar seksiz\u00ebm, at\u00ebher\u00eb ato duhet t\u00eb jen\u00eb m\u00eb bashk\u00ebndjeh\u00ebse n\u00eb t\u00eb kuptuarit e barrierave gjinore me t\u00eb grat\u00eb tjera mund t\u00eb ballafaqohen. P\u00ebrkundrazi ky vet\u00ebdijesim duhet t\u00eb krijoj\u00eb aleanca e mb\u00ebshtetje aktive mes nj\u00ebra tjetr\u00ebs. N\u00ebse grat\u00eb nuk ndihmojn\u00eb nj\u00ebra tjetr\u00ebn, kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe m\u00eb e keqe sesa jo mb\u00ebshtetja q\u00eb i\u2019u b\u00ebhet nga burrat, p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb vendi i ve\u00e7ant\u00eb n\u00eb \u201cferr\u201d u rezervohet atyre grave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr fenomeni i Mbret\u00ebresh\u00ebs Blet\u00eb, argumenton se grat\u00eb thjesht nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb shoq\u00ebrueshme me nj\u00ebra tjetr\u00ebn. Sheryl Sandberg e Adam Grant n\u00eb esen\u00eb e tyre v\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb dukje mitin e gruas s\u00eb lig\u00eb apo ndryshe e referuar n\u00eb termin \u201cGruas Mac\u00eb\u201d Ky besim q\u00ebndron mbi iden\u00eb e gabuar se grat\u00eb gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb koh\u00ebs n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb natyrshme minojn\u00eb grat\u00eb e tjera n\u00eb pun\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ideja mbi sindromin e Mbret\u00ebresh\u00ebs Blet\u00eb, daton qysh n\u00eb fillim vitet e 70-ta. Kjo sindrom\u00eb p\u00ebrthekon nj\u00eb seri sjelljesh duke filluar nga grat\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00e7mojn\u00eb tiparet \u201cfem\u00ebrore\u201d t\u00eb tilla si: ( Grat\u00eb jan\u00eb shum\u00eb emocionale) e duke i theksuar atributet e p\u00ebrvet\u00ebsuara \u201cmashkullore\u201d t\u00eb tilla si: (Un\u00eb mendoj m\u00eb shum\u00eb si nj\u00eb burr\u00eb) e deri te pretendimet se diskriminimi n\u00eb baza gjinore \u00ebsht\u00eb i pa baz\u00eb si:( Arsyeja pse ka kaq pak gra n\u00eb piedestal, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb diskriminimit, po p\u00ebr shkak se grat\u00eb jan\u00eb m\u00eb pak t\u00eb p\u00ebrkushtuara n\u00eb karrier\u00eb) e deri te mos mb\u00ebshtetja e iniciativave q\u00eb adresojn\u00eb pabarazin\u00eb gjinore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kryesorja dhe e vetmja Mbret\u00ebresha Blet\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo mbret\u00ebresh\u00eb e suksesshme e cila n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrdor\u00eb pushtetin dhe forc\u00ebn q\u00eb posedon p\u00ebr t\u00eb avancuar grat\u00eb e tjera, n\u00eb t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt\u00ebn ajo vendos\u00eb t\u2019i n\u00ebn\u00e7moj\u00eb koleget e saj.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Megjith\u00ebse n\u00eb dy arketipet t\u00eb cilat adresojn\u00eb fenomenin n\u00eb fjal\u00eb (nj\u00ebra model, e tjetra p\u00ebrrall\u00eb paralajm\u00ebruese) mund t\u00eb jen\u00eb n\u00eb kund\u00ebrshtim me nj\u00ebra tjetr\u00ebn, ato n\u00eb realitet vet\u00ebm se shp\u00ebrfaqin k\u00ebt\u00eb standard t\u00eb dyfisht\u00eb; Nj\u00ebra q\u00eb kur burrat kan\u00eb konflikt mes tyre shihet si normale e tjetra kur grat\u00eb kan\u00eb konflikt mes vete shihet si disfunksionale. Kur burrat p\u00ebrfshihen n\u00eb p\u00ebrleshje shihet si <\/p>\n\n\n\n

hap i sh\u00ebndetsh\u00ebm q\u00eb kultivon n\u00eb konkurrenc\u00ebn e debatin e dobish\u00ebm, por kur grat\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn gj\u00eb ato cil\u00ebsohen si \u201cgra t\u00eb liga\u201d t\u00eb mbyllura n\u00eb nj\u00eb luft\u00eb t\u00eb pa m\u00ebshirshme.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u00ebto perceptime se grat\u00eb jan\u00eb mashtruese dhe komplotuese i qelin udh\u00eb besimit se mosmarr\u00ebveshjet n\u00eb pun\u00eb n\u00eb mes t\u00eb grave jan\u00eb posa\u00e7\u00ebrisht d\u00ebmtuese. Bazuar n\u00eb nj\u00eb studim se kur ndodh\u00eb nj\u00eb konflikt midis dy grave kolege n\u00eb pun\u00eb, njer\u00ebzit presin q\u00eb pasojat t\u00eb jen\u00eb negative e afatgjate, njer\u00ebzit mendojn\u00eb se kjo gj\u00eb mund t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb si shkak i d\u00ebshir\u00ebs s\u00eb grave p\u00ebr hakmarrje. N\u00eb t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt\u00ebn kur nj\u00eb konflikt i till\u00eb ndodh\u00eb midis dy burrave ose nj\u00eb burri e nj\u00eb gruaje, mendojn\u00eb se relacioni mund t\u00eb rregullohet shum\u00eb m\u00eb leht\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Edhe pse studimet e tregojn\u00eb t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt\u00ebn, n\u00eb fakt burrat jan\u00eb ata q\u00eb p\u00ebrfshihen n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00ebrthort\u00eb n\u00eb shum\u00eb situata agresive si thashethemet e p\u00ebrjashtimi shoq\u00ebror n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn mas\u00eb a n\u00eb mos m\u00eb tep\u00ebr dhe s\u00ebrish besohet gjer\u00ebsisht se grat\u00eb jan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb liga me nj\u00ebra tjetr\u00ebn. Besime t\u00eb tilla jan\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrhapura edhe n\u00eb mesin e parashkollor\u00ebve, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt besojn\u00eb se vajzat n\u00eb krahasim me djemt\u00eb kan\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb prirje t\u00eb p\u00ebrfshihen n\u00eb relacione agresive si p\u00ebrjashtimi ndaj t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve, pavar\u00ebsisht provave p\u00ebr t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt\u00ebn. Madje dhe vet termi Mbret\u00ebresha Blet\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb gjinor. Sigurisht burrat mund t\u00eb jen\u00eb hileqar e manipulues, por ja q\u00eb p\u00ebr ta nuk ka nj\u00eb term ekuivalent q\u00eb shpjegon sakt\u00ebsisht sjelljen komplotuese e n\u00ebn\u00e7muese kund\u00ebr koleg\u00ebve t\u00eb tyre meshkuj.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Por a ka di\u00e7ka t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb n\u00eb stereotipin e Mbret\u00ebresh\u00ebs Blet\u00eb? A jan\u00eb grat\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb liga ndaj grave t\u00eb tjera sesa burrat ndaj burrave t\u00eb tjer\u00eb ose grat\u00eb ndaj burrave?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Studimet mbi k\u00ebto sjellje kan\u00eb gjetur raste konkrete n\u00eb t\u00eb cilat ndodh\u00eb ky fenomen. P\u00ebr shembull nj\u00eb studim nga psikolog\u00ebt ku kan\u00eb ekzaminuar se si profesor\u00ebt shikonin student\u00ebt e tyre kandidat\u00eb p\u00ebr PhD, gjeti se pavar\u00ebsisht nga t\u00eb dh\u00ebnat e barabarta t\u00eb publikimeve studimore e p\u00ebrkushtimit, profesoret gra kan\u00eb tendenc\u00ebn t\u00eb besojn\u00eb se studentet kandidate p\u00ebr PhD gra jan\u00eb m\u00eb pak t\u00eb p\u00ebrkushtuara n\u00eb karrier\u00eb sesa student\u00ebt e tyre burra.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Po ky s\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb rasti i till\u00eb. N\u00eb k\u00ebto studime del t\u00eb jet\u00eb se brezi i vjet\u00ebr i profesoreve gra i p\u00ebrgjigjen m\u00eb shum\u00eb k\u00ebtij fenomeni t\u00eb Mbret\u00ebresh\u00ebs Blet\u00eb sesa grat\u00eb e brezit t\u00eb ri. Po \u00e7ka e shpjegon k\u00ebt\u00eb diferenc\u00eb mes brezash?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb shkak ambienti n\u00eb t\u00eb cil\u00ebn grat\u00eb e brezit t\u00eb vjet\u00ebr zhvilluan karrier\u00ebn e tyre dhe i b\u00ebri ato me t\u00eb ashpra n\u00eb raport me grat\u00eb e reja studente? Sepse p\u00ebr brezin e vjet\u00ebr ishte pothuajse e pa mundur p\u00ebr grat\u00eb t\u00eb ngjiten n\u00eb piedestalin e t\u00eb qenurit profesore dhe me koh\u00eb u b\u00eb edhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb e zakonshme p\u00ebr grat\u00eb e reja t\u00eb ndjekin shkollimin. Dhe p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb shkak ndoshta duke u bazuar n\u00eb kontekstin e koh\u00ebs k\u00ebto gra u ngrit\u00ebn n\u00eb shkall\u00eb t\u00eb larta n\u00eb karrier\u00eb (ku kishte m\u00eb pak gra, m\u00eb shum\u00eb barriera, e m\u00eb shum\u00eb seksiz\u00ebm) kjo do t\u00eb duhej t\u00eb shpjegonte m\u00eb mir\u00eb sjelljen e tyre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hulumtimet e nj\u00eb pas nj\u00ebshme kan\u00eb konfirmuar pik\u00ebrisht k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb. Sjellja e Mbret\u00ebresh\u00ebs Blet\u00eb nuk pasqyron tipin e gruas s\u00eb lig\u00eb t\u00eb mb\u00ebrthyer thell\u00eb n\u00eb ADN-n\u00eb e saj. Po m\u00eb shum\u00eb n\u00eb pik\u00ebn ku dinamizmi i Mbret\u00ebresh\u00ebs Blet\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb i nxitur nga diskriminimet gjinore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Specifikisht k\u00ebto studime gjejn\u00eb se sjellje t\u00eb tilla lindin kur dy dinamika b\u00ebhen s\u00eb bashku si: Paragjykimet gjinore dhe mos solidariteti gjinor, n\u00eb munges\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00eb termi me t\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatsh\u00ebm. P\u00ebr grat\u00eb t\u00eb cilat identiteti i tyre gjinor nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm n\u00eb identitetin e tyre si person p\u00ebrjetojn\u00eb paragjykime n\u00eb aspektin gjinor, k\u00ebtu merr jet\u00eb dhe sjellja e tyre prej Mbret\u00ebresh\u00ebs Blet\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dhe ja pse: Grat\u00eb t\u00eb cilat mendojn\u00eb se gjinia e tyre duhet t\u00eb jet\u00eb e par\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme jo vet\u00ebm n\u00eb pun\u00eb por edhe n\u00eb raport me grat\u00eb e tjera – t\u00eb qenit t\u00eb paragjykuara si gra i detyron ato t\u00eb kuptojn\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt i shohin ato para s\u00eb gjithash si gra. P\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb stereotipeve negative si\u00e7 \u00ebsht\u00eb mendimi se grat\u00eb jan\u00eb m\u00eb pak kompetente se burrat, nj\u00eb num\u00ebr i grave mund ta konsiderojn\u00eb rrug\u00ebtimin e tyre profesional me pengesa n\u00ebse ato fillimisht shihen si gra dhe nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatshme p\u00ebr udh\u00ebheqje.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u00ebr t\u00eb kaluar p\u00ebrtej k\u00ebtyre barrierave gjinore, k\u00ebto gra mundohen t\u00eb distancojn\u00eb veten nga grat\u00eb e tjera. Ato provojn\u00eb strategji individuale q\u00eb i\u2019u mund\u00ebson atyre k\u00ebt\u00eb distancim. Nj\u00ebra nd\u00ebr m\u00ebnyrat \u00ebsht\u00eb duke e luajtur rolin e Mbret\u00ebresh\u00ebs Blet\u00eb si: (Un\u00eb nuk jam sikur grat\u00eb e tjera, sepse gjithmon\u00eb kam pasur prioritet karrier\u00ebn) p\u00ebrshkrime t\u00eb tilla t\u00eb vetes n\u00eb terme m\u00eb \u201cburr\u00ebrore\u201d jan\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb nga t\u00eb cilat q\u00ebllimi i tyre \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u2019i denigroj\u00eb grat\u00eb e tjera.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c7\u00ebshtja \u00ebsht\u00eb se grat\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb se jan\u00eb t\u00eb mish\u00ebruara p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb t\u00eb liga. Vet\u00ebm se sjellja e tyre prej Mbret\u00ebresh\u00ebs Blet\u00eb vjen si shkak nga ambienti ku ato jetojn\u00eb i cili p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsisht \u00ebsht\u00eb i dominuar nga burrat dhe n\u00eb po at\u00eb ambient ato zhvler\u00ebsohen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kjo lloj sjelljeje nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e ve\u00e7ant\u00eb vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr grat\u00eb. Nj\u00eb qasje e till\u00eb p\u00ebrdoret edhe te grupet e margjinalizuara t\u00eb cilat mbajn\u00eb q\u00ebndrime averzive ndaj grupit t\u00eb tyre. Hulumtimet tregojn\u00eb se disa burra homoseksual tentojn\u00eb t\u00eb distancojn\u00eb veten e tyre nga stereotipet q\u00eb i\u2019u mveshen burrave homoseksual n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi, n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb ata mundohen t\u2019i mbi-theksojn\u00eb tiparet tipike burr\u00ebrore dhe nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht mbajn\u00eb q\u00ebndrime negative p\u00ebr homoseksual\u00ebt q\u00eb nuk jan\u00eb mjaftuesh\u00ebm burra. E t\u00ebra q\u00eb mbetet \u00ebsht\u00eb distancimi social q\u00eb shum\u00eb individ e p\u00ebrdorin kur duan t\u00eb shmangin, largohen apo t\u00eb drejtojn\u00eb disavantazhet e grupit n\u00eb t\u00eb cilin p\u00ebrkasin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u00ebrderisa distancimi social mund t\u00eb lejoj\u00eb nj\u00eb individ nga grupet e n\u00ebnp\u00ebrfaq\u00ebsuara t\u00eb p\u00ebrparoj\u00eb, n\u00eb t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt\u00ebn i b\u00ebn m\u00eb shum\u00eb d\u00ebm vet grupit n\u00eb t\u00eb cilin p\u00ebrkasin sepse n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb i legjitimon dhe m\u00eb shume pabarazit\u00eb. Kur nj\u00eb grua shpreh pik\u00ebpamje stereotipike p\u00ebr nj\u00eb grua tjet\u00ebr, kjo gj\u00eb nuk shihet si nj\u00eb deklarat\u00eb seksiste por m\u00eb shum\u00eb si nj\u00eb vler\u00ebsim i paansh\u00ebm p\u00ebr shkak se ka nj\u00eb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

tendenc\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb besuar se individ\u00ebt q\u00eb i p\u00ebrkasin nj\u00eb grupi nuk mund t\u00eb paragjykohen nga an\u00ebtar\u00ebt e po atij grupi. Po ja q\u00eb kjo gj\u00eb ndodh\u00eb shum\u00eb shpesh. N\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, edhe grat\u00eb mund t\u00eb jen\u00eb misogjiniste. P\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb shkak, sjelljet q\u00eb sjellin distancimin shoq\u00ebror mund t\u00eb prodhojn\u00eb pabarazi edhe m\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebdha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Po \u00e7ka i parandalon sjelljet e Mbret\u00ebresh\u00ebs Blet\u00eb? Identifikimi p\u00ebrkat\u00ebs n\u00eb gjinin\u00eb identifikuese si gra. Grat\u00eb q\u00eb kan\u00eb p\u00ebrjetuar diskriminim gjinor por q\u00eb nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht jan\u00eb identifikuar me gjinin\u00eb e tyre nuk reagojn\u00eb r\u00ebndom n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb paragjykuese duke distancuar veten e tyre ndaj grave t\u00eb tjera. Po n\u00eb vend t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj n\u00eb baz\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00eb studimi policet gra t\u00eb cilat posa\u00e7\u00ebrisht identifikohen krenarisht me gjinin\u00eb e tyre i\u2019u p\u00ebrgjigjen diskriminimit gjinor me nj\u00eb d\u00ebshir\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb krijuar m\u00eb shum\u00eb mund\u00ebsi p\u00ebr grat\u00eb e tjera.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ka mjaft prova q\u00eb shfaqin an\u00ebn mb\u00ebshtet\u00ebse t\u00eb grave ndaj nj\u00ebra tjetr\u00ebs. Kur grat\u00eb punojn\u00eb s\u00eb bashku ato p\u00ebrjetojn\u00eb nivele m\u00eb t\u00eb ulta t\u00eb diskriminimit gjinor e ngacmimit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kur grat\u00eb kan\u00eb mbik\u00ebqyr\u00ebse gra, ato raportojn\u00eb t\u00eb ken\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb afinitet familjar e mb\u00ebshtetje organizative m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe sesa kur n\u00eb krye jan\u00eb mbik\u00ebqyr\u00ebs burra. Dhe nj\u00eb mori studimesh tjera paraqesin se kur m\u00eb shum\u00eb gra marrin pozita menaxhuese, hendeku (boshll\u00ebku) i pagave n\u00eb baza gjinore \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i vog\u00ebl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Andaj grat\u00eb e drejta ekzistojn\u00eb e gjinden mes nesh dhe po b\u00ebjn\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00ebn e mundshme p\u00ebr grat\u00eb e tjera.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marianne Cooper<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

E p\u00ebrktheu:\u00a0Ardita Avdija<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tekstin origjinal mund ta gjeni n\u00eb: https:\/\/www.theatlantic.com\/business\/archive\/2016\/06\/queen-bee\/488144\/?fbclid=IwAR2c200rVuK3Uf9rrwwC1e7ZF5Vq-xd3B2IRjlQB8rerreygU9q27mAVCHg<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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