\u201c\u00c7far\u00eb b\u00ebra?! Gjith\u00e7ka b\u00ebra!!\u201d, ia kthen ajo e acaruar dhe e lodhur. \u201cDuhet t\u00eb m\u00eb kish\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb! Do t\u00eb kisha ndihmuar!\u201d, u p\u00ebrgjigj partneri i saj.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Veprat artistike t\u00eb Emma-s ilustrojn\u00eb se si grat\u00eb shpesh, n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb automatike jan\u00eb \u201cmenaxhere\u201d t\u00eb familjes s\u00eb tyre. U takon atyre t\u00eb din\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb dhe kur duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb, t\u00eb merren me nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb t\u00eb madhe t\u00eb pun\u00ebve, si dhe t\u00eb delegojn\u00eb detyra t\u00eb caktuara tek nj\u00eb an\u00ebtar tjet\u00ebr i familjes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Puna e organizimit dhe menaxhimit t\u00eb pun\u00ebve t\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb ka filluar t\u00eb njihet si \u201cngarkes\u00eb mendore\u201d, mir\u00ebpo shumica e grave nuk e din\u00eb se jan\u00eb duke e p\u00ebrjetuar k\u00ebt\u00eb ngarkes\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n
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\u201cE kuptova q\u00eb pothuajse \u00e7do grua q\u00eb njoh p\u00ebrjeton k\u00ebt\u00eb ngarkes\u00eb mendore\u201d, tha Emma p\u00ebr nj\u00eb intervist\u00eb n\u00eb BBC. \u201cE kemi diskutuar k\u00ebt\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtje vet\u00ebm p\u00ebrmes anekdotave, jo si koncept n\u00eb vete. Kur m\u00ebsova q\u00eb ekzistonte termi \u2018ngarkes\u00eb mendore\u2019 disi u leht\u00ebsova dhe isha e sigurt q\u00eb edhe grat\u00eb tjera do t\u00eb ndihen k\u00ebshtu.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
P\u00ebrderisa ngarkesa mendore mund t\u2019i referohet pun\u00ebve fizike, ajo gjithashtu ka t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb shum\u00eb me pun\u00ebn emocionale si p.sh fakti q\u00eb shpesh u bie grave t\u00eb merren me aranzhimet e udh\u00ebtimeve, dit\u00eblindjeve apo listave p\u00ebr blerje dhe me gjith\u00e7ka tjet\u00ebr q\u00eb mund t\u00eb konsiderohet si \u201cadministrim i jet\u00ebs\u201d. Si\u00e7 tregon Gemma Hartley n\u00eb librin e saj Fed Up<\/em>, edhe n\u00ebse pun\u00ebt e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb ndahen 50\/50, grat\u00eb ende b\u00ebjn\u00eb shumic\u00ebn e pun\u00ebs s\u00eb padukshme. \u201cP\u00ebr \u00e7do detyr\u00eb q\u00eb prodhon nj\u00eb rezultat t\u00eb duksh\u00ebm, ekzistojn\u00eb shum\u00eb hapa mendor\u00eb t\u00eb cilat nuk shihen\u201d, shkruan ajo. \u201cK\u00ebto hapa v\u00ebrehen, ndjeken dhe ekzekutohen kryesisht nga grat\u00eb.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Shpesh themi, \u201cEh, k\u00ebshtu jan\u00eb burrat\u201d, por burrat nuk jan\u00eb fizikisht t\u00eb paaft\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb kryer k\u00ebto pun\u00eb, ashtu si\u00e7 grat\u00eb nuk lindin me aft\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb menaxhuar nj\u00eb familje. K\u00ebshtu kusht\u00ebzohemi q\u00eb nga mosha e hershme. Mendoni nj\u00eb moment p\u00ebr familjen tuaj \u2013 a keni par\u00eb ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb baban\u00eb tuaj duke b\u00ebr\u00eb gati valixhet e familjes p\u00ebr pushim, apo duke bler\u00eb gj\u00ebra q\u00eb u nevojitet f\u00ebmij\u00ebve p\u00ebr n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb? A i mbetet gjithnj\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00ebs tuaj q\u00eb t\u00eb d\u00ebrgoj\u00eb kartolina p\u00ebr dit\u00eblindje? A \u00ebsht\u00eb zakonisht ulur gjyshi juaj nd\u00ebrsa gjyshja gatuan dark\u00ebn, shtron tryez\u00ebn dhe m\u00eb pas pastron rr\u00ebmuj\u00ebn q\u00eb ka mbetur (me ndonj\u00eb ndihm\u00eb nga grat\u00eb tjera n\u00eb familje)?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ideja se gruaja duhet t\u00eb kujdeset p\u00ebr sht\u00ebpin\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb po aq e vjet\u00ebr sa vet\u00eb patriarkati dhe ende e rr\u00ebnjosur fuqish\u00ebm n\u00eb Kushtetut\u00ebn Irlandeze. Nj\u00eb raport i vitit 2017 nga Instituti Evropian p\u00ebr Barazi Gjinore tregon q\u00eb grat\u00eb kalojn\u00eb nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb disproporcionale t\u00eb koh\u00ebs s\u00eb tyre duke kryer pun\u00eb t\u00eb papaguar, t\u00eb p\u00ebrkujdesjes s\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb dhe familjes, pavar\u00ebsisht se kan\u00eb pun\u00eb jasht\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb. N\u00eb Irland\u00eb, ky hendek gjinor \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb i madh \u2013 pothuajse 90% e grave irlandeze b\u00ebjn\u00eb pun\u00eb sht\u00ebpie, krahasuar me m\u00eb pak se 50% t\u00eb burrave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ashtu si\u00e7 grat\u00eb konsiderohen nga shoq\u00ebria se duhet t\u00eb jen\u00eb kujdestare, burrat jan\u00eb rritur n\u00eb nj\u00eb shoq\u00ebri q\u00eb i dekurajon t\u00eb ndjekin role apo aktivitete t\u00eb ashtuquajtura \u201cfem\u00ebrore\u201d. Ky \u00e7ekuilib\u00ebr po i v\u00eb n\u00eb sprov\u00eb lidhjet e dashuris\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Bordet e K\u00ebshillimit t\u00eb platform\u00ebs Reddit jan\u00eb t\u00eb mbushura me gra t\u00eb frustruara me burrat e tyre t\u00eb cil\u00ebt nuk kryejn\u00eb asnj\u00eb pun\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, dhe gjithmon\u00eb presin nga partneret e tyre t\u00eb rregullojn\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka. K\u00ebshilla kryesore p\u00ebr k\u00ebto raste \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201cMos kryej ato pun\u00eb p\u00ebr ta!\u201d. Por, ta l\u00ebsh tualetin t\u00eb pa pastruar apo t\u00eb l\u00ebsh ushqimet t\u00eb prishen mbi tavolin\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00eb-nd\u00ebshkim. Ajo \u00e7far\u00eb grat\u00eb duan, \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb burrat ti v\u00ebrejn\u00eb k\u00ebto gj\u00ebra vet. Pra, t\u00eb mos ken\u00eb nevoj\u00eb t\u2019ua kujtojn\u00eb, mir\u00ebpo t\u00eb jet\u00eb refleks p\u00ebr ta, ashtu si\u00e7 \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebr grat\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cUn\u00eb isha ajo q\u00eb kujdesej p\u00ebr detajet, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb e ndjeja t\u00eb natyrshme q\u00eb un\u00eb duhet t\u00eb isha ajo q\u00eb i ka gj\u00ebrat n\u00ebn kontroll\u201d, shkruan Gemma Hartley. \u201cPor t\u00eb jesh personi i vet\u00ebm q\u00eb kujdeset p\u00ebr k\u00ebto gj\u00ebra mund t\u00eb shpie n\u00eb nj\u00eb \u00e7ekuilib\u00ebr t\u00eb d\u00ebmsh\u00ebm\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPuna emocionale\u201d q\u00eb kryente burri im u kthye n\u00eb di\u00e7ka q\u00eb duhej t\u00eb lavd\u00ebrohej, nj\u00eb e \u201cmir\u00eb\u201d, q\u00eb ai e b\u00ebnte p\u00ebr mua. P\u00ebrpjekjet e tij nuk ishin t\u00eb lidhura me p\u00ebrmir\u00ebsimin e jet\u00ebs apo me nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb t\u00eb thell\u00eb p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsie\u2026Ishte nj\u00eb akt q\u00eb k\u00ebrkonte lavd\u00ebrime dhe mir\u00ebnjohje t\u00eb cil\u00ebn un\u00eb nuk mund ta prisja n\u00eb k\u00ebmbim t\u00eb s\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebs pun\u00eb\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb arsyeja pse kur debatojm\u00eb p\u00ebr en\u00ebt e palara dhe \u00e7orapet e pista, n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb nuk po grindemi p\u00ebr en\u00ebt dhe \u00e7orapet. Grat\u00eb nuk i adhurojn\u00eb burrat mikromenaxhues. Ka t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb me vler\u00ebsim dhe respekt, di\u00e7ka q\u00eb shkrimtari Matthew Fray e vuri n\u00eb pah n\u00eb esen\u00eb e tij \u201cU divorcuam, sepse nuk i lava en\u00ebt\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNuk do t\u00eb bezdisem asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nga nj\u00eb got\u00eb e palar\u00eb. Asnj\u00ebher\u00eb. Por, ka nj\u00eb arsye pse un\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb l\u00eb asnj\u00eb got\u00eb t\u00eb palar\u00eb. Di\u00e7ka q\u00eb m\u00ebsova shum\u00eb von\u00eb: sepse un\u00eb e dua dhe respektoj partneren time, dhe kjo gj\u00eb ka shum\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi p\u00ebr t\u00eb. E kuptoj se kur un\u00eb e l\u00eb at\u00eb got\u00eb aty, ajo l\u00ebndohet, sepse duket sikur i them \u201cUn\u00eb nuk t\u00eb respektoj ty dhe nuk vler\u00ebsoj mendimet dhe opinionet e tua. T\u00eb mos harxhoj kat\u00ebr sekonda koh\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb futur got\u00ebn n\u00eb makin\u00ebn lar\u00ebse \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme p\u00ebr mua sesa ti\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ironik \u00ebsht\u00eb fakti se edhe biseda p\u00ebr ngarkes\u00ebn mendore k\u00ebrkon pun\u00eb emocionale. (\u201cNdiheni totalisht e rraskapitur nga obligimi p\u00ebr t\u00eb parashikuar nevojat e familjes? Duhet t\u00eb na kishe th\u00ebn\u00eb!\u201d) Por si ndryshe mund ta kthejm\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb situat\u00eb n\u00eb drejtim tjet\u00ebr, qoft\u00eb edhe p\u00ebr pak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ky problem \u00ebsht\u00eb sistematik, por zgjidhja t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn tani p\u00ebr tani mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb personale. Gemma Hartley zbuloi balancin duke e l\u00ebn\u00eb p\u00ebrsosm\u00ebrin\u00eb e saj m\u00ebnjan\u00eb dhe duke vendosur nj\u00eb standard t\u00eb p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebt me burrin e saj. \u201cNuk mund t\u00eb kemi gjith\u00e7ka n\u00ebn kontroll dhe t\u00eb presim q\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb rreth nesh t\u00eb adaptohen me k\u00ebt\u00eb\u201d, thot\u00eb ajo. \u201cNe duhet t\u00eb punojm\u00eb s\u00eb bashku, t\u00eb gjejm\u00eb nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb re p\u00ebr t\u00eb shfryt\u00ebzuar fuqin\u00eb e pun\u00ebs emocionale p\u00ebr burrat dhe p\u00ebr grat\u00eb poashtu\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n E p\u00ebrktheu: Greta Avdyli<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/qika.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screenshot_20210222-095249_Messenger.jpg\")
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