Pse ishin aty? Pse pranuan? Pse b\u00ebn\u00eb seks me t\u00eb? Sa gra ishin? A e dinin? A kishin partner\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb? Prej gjith\u00eb asaj q\u00eb ka qarkulluar k\u00ebto dit\u00eb rreth videove intime nga Shqip\u00ebria, k\u00ebto jan\u00eb pyetjet q\u00eb m\u00eb kan\u00eb mbetur m\u00eb shum\u00eb n\u00eb mendje. Brenda pak or\u00ebsh, filloi t\u00eb k\u00ebrkohej emri i gruas tjet\u00ebr, historia e saj, arsyet pse kishte qen\u00eb aty. Sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb i kam par\u00eb k\u00ebto reagime, aq m\u00eb qart\u00eb m\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb dukur se \u00e7\u00ebshtja nuk mbaron te cenimi i privat\u00ebsis\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
N\u00eb fakt, k\u00ebto \u201cpse-ja\u201d duhet t\u2019i drejtojm\u00eb tjet\u00ebr kah. Pse u regjistruan k\u00ebto pamje? Kush vendosi t\u2019i ruante? Kush pati qasje n\u00eb to? Kush i hodhi n\u00eb qarkullim? Kush vendosi se intimiteti i dikujt tjet\u00ebr mund t\u00eb shnd\u00ebrrohej n\u00eb material publik? Pse, kur ndodh nj\u00eb cenim i till\u00eb, instinkti yn\u00eb i par\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebrkojm\u00eb shpjegime nga grat\u00eb dhe jo p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi nga ata q\u00eb e kan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb t\u00eb mundur ekspozimin?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
P\u00ebrpara se t\u00eb shkoj m\u00eb tej, ia vlen t\u00eb ndalemi te ajo q\u00eb dim\u00eb deri tani p\u00ebr vet\u00eb rastin. N\u00eb videot intime q\u00eb jan\u00eb publikuar dhe shp\u00ebrndar\u00eb k\u00ebto dit\u00eb n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri shfaqet kompozitori Adrian Hila dhe disa gra, p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb figura publike. Rasti tashm\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb objekt i nj\u00eb hetimi penal ku Hila \u00ebsht\u00eb marr\u00eb n\u00eb pyetje nga Krimet Kibernetike dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb proceduar n\u00eb liri p\u00ebr vepr\u00ebn penale \u201cNd\u00ebrhyrje e padrejt\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00ebn private\u201d, lidhur me vendosjen e kamerave n\u00eb ambientin e tij. Ai ka deklaruar se kamerat ishin vendosur p\u00ebr arsye sigurie dhe se nuk kishte dijeni p\u00ebr publikimin e materialeve. Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb, hetimet vazhdojn\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb p\u00ebrcaktuar se si videot p\u00ebrfunduan n\u00eb internet, kush i publikoi dhe kush i shp\u00ebrndau.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Por, p\u00ebrtej asaj q\u00eb do t\u00eb p\u00ebrcaktoj\u00eb hetimi, m\u00eb shqet\u00ebson kjo \u201cpse-ja\u201d q\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebritet pothuajse sa her\u00eb nj\u00eb gruaje i ndodh ndonj\u00eb form\u00eb e dhun\u00ebs. Pse kishte veshur fustan? Pse kishte dalur nat\u00ebn? Pse nuk iku? Pse nuk reagoi? Pse nuk e denoncoi menj\u00ebher\u00eb? Pse vazhdoi t\u00eb fliste me t\u00eb? Pse heshti kaq gjat\u00eb? E kemi d\u00ebgjuar aq shpesh n\u00eb rastet e dhun\u00ebs me baz\u00eb gjinore sa pothuajse na duket pyetje e natyrshme sepse p\u00ebrpara se nj\u00eb grua t\u00eb marr\u00eb mbrojtjen ton\u00eb, asaj i k\u00ebrkohet t\u00eb d\u00ebshmoj\u00eb se \u00ebsht\u00eb viktima e duhur. T\u00eb jet\u00eb mjaftuesh\u00ebm e pafajshme, mjaftuesh\u00ebm e mashtruar, mjaftuesh\u00ebm monogame, mjaftuesh\u00ebm e turp\u00ebruar. Aty ku gruaja ka d\u00ebshiruar, ka zgjedhur, ka eksperimentuar, solidariteti fillon t\u00eb b\u00ebhet m\u00eb i pasigurt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pik\u00ebrisht p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb nuk dua ta lexoj k\u00ebt\u00eb rast vet\u00ebm si cenim privat\u00ebsie. Sepse po t\u00eb ndalemi vet\u00ebm aty, rrezikojm\u00eb t\u00eb themi se problemi \u00ebsht\u00eb se publiku pa di\u00e7ka q\u00eb duhej t\u00eb mbetej e fshehur, nd\u00ebrsa pyetja m\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb pse ajo q\u00eb pam\u00eb ka kaq shum\u00eb fuqi mbi reputacionin e nj\u00eb gruaje. Pse seksi vazhdon t\u00eb jet\u00eb nj\u00eb episod n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e nj\u00eb burri, por kaq leht\u00eb b\u00ebhet biografi morale e nj\u00eb gruaje? P\u00ebr nj\u00eb burr\u00eb, nj\u00eb histori seksuale mund t\u00eb ekzistoj\u00eb krahas profesionit, karakterit, familjes, pun\u00ebs dhe \u00e7do pjese tjet\u00ebr t\u00eb jet\u00ebs s\u00eb tij pa u shnd\u00ebrruar domosdoshm\u00ebrisht n\u00eb \u00e7el\u00ebsin p\u00ebrmes t\u00eb cilit lexojm\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka tjet\u00ebr. P\u00ebrvoja seksuale mashkullore madje mund t\u00eb vazhdoj\u00eb t\u00eb lexohet si status apo pushtet. Tek grat\u00eb, i nj\u00ebjti fakt shum\u00eb m\u00eb leht\u00eb p\u00ebrdoret p\u00ebr t\u00eb nxjerr\u00eb p\u00ebrfundime p\u00ebr seriozitetin, besueshm\u00ebrin\u00eb, moralin, aft\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb partnere, n\u00ebn\u00eb apo figur\u00eb publike. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Edhe reagimi i disa grave q\u00eb u p\u00ebrmend\u00ebn publikisht n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb histori m\u00eb ka b\u00ebr\u00eb t\u00eb mendoj p\u00ebr forc\u00ebn e k\u00ebsaj stigme. Disa nxituan t\u00eb sqarojn\u00eb se nuk jan\u00eb pjes\u00eb e videove, t\u00eb distancohen dhe t\u00eb mbrojn\u00eb emrin e tyre. Natyrisht, \u00ebsht\u00eb e kuptueshme pse nj\u00eb grua d\u00ebshiron ta b\u00ebj\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb shoq\u00ebri ku vet\u00ebm insinuata mund t\u2019i kushtoj\u00eb me reputacionin, marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnien apo pun\u00ebn. Por vet\u00eb urgjenca p\u00ebr ta b\u00ebr\u00eb distancimin publik tregon sa i fuqish\u00ebm \u00ebsht\u00eb mekanizmi. K\u00ebshtu stigma arrin di\u00e7ka m\u00eb shum\u00eb se posht\u00ebrimin e grave q\u00eb jan\u00eb n\u00eb qend\u00ebr t\u00eb saj; u m\u00ebson grave t\u00eb tjera se siguria e tyre varet edhe nga aft\u00ebsia p\u00ebr t\u2019u dalluar prej tyre. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb rast\u00ebsi q\u00eb kjo funksionon kaq leht\u00eb. Seksualiteti i grave ka qen\u00eb prej koh\u00ebsh nj\u00eb nga hap\u00ebsirat ku familja, komuniteti, feja, shteti dhe media kan\u00eb pretenduar t\u00eb ken\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrcaktojn\u00eb kufijt\u00eb. Patriarkati nuk k\u00ebrkon domosdoshm\u00ebrisht q\u00eb grat\u00eb t\u00eb mos ken\u00eb d\u00ebshir\u00eb seksuale, por q\u00eb d\u00ebshira e tyre t\u00eb mbetet e kontrollueshme, me personin e duhur, n\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnien e duhur, n\u00eb form\u00ebn e duhur dhe mund\u00ebsisht pa u b\u00ebr\u00eb shum\u00eb e dukshme. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kur nj\u00eb video intime b\u00ebhet publike, ky aparat moral nuk krijohet nga zero por vet\u00ebm merr nj\u00eb objekt konkret mbi t\u00eb cilin mund t\u00eb ushtrohet. Seksualiteti i nj\u00eb gruaje nuk ka nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb incizohet apo t\u00eb publikohet p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb i v\u00ebrtet\u00eb. Publikimi thjesht ia ndryshon statusin shoq\u00ebror. Nga nj\u00eb p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb private mbi t\u00eb cil\u00ebn ajo kishte nj\u00eb shkall\u00eb kontrolli, ai hyn n\u00eb nj\u00eb hap\u00ebsir\u00eb ku mij\u00ebra njer\u00ebz pretendojn\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn ta interpretojn\u00eb. Fillojn\u00eb t\u00eb num\u00ebrohen partner\u00ebt, t\u00eb rind\u00ebrtohen marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet, t\u00eb prodhohen histori p\u00ebr karakterin. Ekspozimi, n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb kuptim, m\u00eb shum\u00eb se cenim i privat\u00ebsis\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb \u00e7asti kur nj\u00eb fragment i jet\u00ebs t\u00ebnde shk\u00ebputet nga ti dhe b\u00ebhet material me t\u00eb cilin t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt nd\u00ebrtojn\u00eb nj\u00eb histori p\u00ebr at\u00eb se kush je.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe arsyeja pse p\u00eblqimi nuk mund t\u00eb reduktohet n\u00eb nj\u00eb \u201cpo\u201d ose \u201cjo\u201d t\u00eb vet\u00ebm. P\u00eblqimi nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb autorizim q\u00eb, pasi jepet nj\u00eb her\u00eb, mbulon \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb vjen m\u00eb pas. Nj\u00eb person mund t\u00eb pranoj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnien seksuale dhe t\u00eb mos pranoj\u00eb filmimin; mund t\u00eb pranoj\u00eb filmimin dhe t\u00eb mos pranoj\u00eb ruajtjen e materialit; mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb dakord q\u00eb nj\u00eb material t\u00eb ekzistoj\u00eb dhe t\u00eb mos pranoj\u00eb kurr\u00eb q\u00eb ai t\u00eb publikohet. Nj\u00eb grua mund ta ket\u00eb dashur \u00e7do sekond\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieje seksuale dhe kjo nuk e zvog\u00eblon aspak t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn e saj p\u00ebr t\u00eb p\u00ebrcaktuar kush ka t\u00eb drejt\u00eb ta shoh\u00eb at\u00eb. N\u00eb fakt, pik\u00ebrisht kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb autonomia, jo vet\u00ebm liria p\u00ebr t\u00eb zgjedhur por edhe kontrolli mbi kufijt\u00eb q\u00eb i vendos\u00eb ti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Por ka edhe nj\u00eb pyetje tjet\u00ebr q\u00eb m\u00eb duket se po e shmangim. \u00c7far\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb shoh\u00ebsh nj\u00eb material q\u00eb e di se personi n\u00eb t\u00eb nuk ka dashur ta shoh\u00ebsh? \u00c7far\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb ta k\u00ebrkosh, ta shkarkosh, ta ruash apo t\u2019ia d\u00ebrgosh dikujt tjet\u00ebr? \u00cbsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e leht\u00eb ta vendosim gjith\u00eb p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsin\u00eb te personi q\u00eb e ka publikuar materialin p\u00ebr her\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb dhe ta mendojm\u00eb publikun si nj\u00eb turm\u00eb pasive q\u00eb thjesht \u201ce gjeti\u201d videon. Por dhuna digjitale merr p\u00ebrmas\u00eb pik\u00ebrisht p\u00ebrmes qarkullimit. Secili k\u00ebrkim p\u00ebr videon tjet\u00ebr, secili d\u00ebrgim n\u00eb nj\u00eb grup privat, secili ringarkim ia zgjeron audienc\u00ebn cenimit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pik\u00ebrisht k\u00ebtu lind shqet\u00ebsimi i madh nga m\u00ebnyra se si nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb e mediave dhe disa figura publike e kan\u00eb trajtuar rastin. N\u00eb vend t\u00eb kujdesit q\u00eb do t\u00eb k\u00ebrkonte nj\u00eb situat\u00eb e till\u00eb, kemi par\u00eb tituj q\u00eb premtojn\u00eb emrin e gruas s\u00eb radh\u00ebs, pamjet e radh\u00ebs; njer\u00ebz t\u00eb njohur q\u00eb e kan\u00eb kthyer rastin n\u00eb batut\u00eb, ciniz\u00ebm, ironi dhe komente ku neveria ndaj grave shprehet pothuajse si q\u00ebndrim moral. N\u00eb nj\u00eb emision televiziv n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb, nj\u00eb gazetar foli publikisht se kishte par\u00eb nj\u00ebr\u00ebn prej videove dhe tha se nuk mund ta shfaqnin ne televizion \u201cduke marr\u00eb parasysh q\u00eb jemi n\u00eb mesdit\u00eb\u201d. Problemi etik n\u00eb nj\u00eb formulim t\u00eb till\u00eb zhvendoset n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb absurde te ora kur mund t\u00eb transmetohej materiali, jo te fakti q\u00eb b\u00ebhet fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr p\u00ebrmbajtje intime dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb drejtat e personave t\u00eb p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ajo q\u00eb m\u00eb duket ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht problematike \u00ebsht\u00eb se humori dhe cinizmi e b\u00ebjn\u00eb cenimin t\u00eb duket m\u00eb i vog\u00ebl. Pastaj vijn\u00eb komentet posht\u00eb, sharjet, gjuha degraduese, komentet mbi trupin, thirrjet p\u00ebr videon tjet\u00ebr. Portali prodhon kureshtjen, figura publike e normalizon me humor ose ciniz\u00ebm, publiku e shum\u00ebfishon me komente dhe shp\u00ebrndarje. Lin\u00e7imi nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb veprim individual por b\u00ebhet proces kolektiv. K\u00ebtu morali patriarkal takohet shum\u00eb leht\u00eb me ekonomin\u00eb e platformave. Stigma b\u00ebhet angazhim nd\u00ebrsa posht\u00ebrimi shikueshm\u00ebri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebhet edhe dallimi mes asaj q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb publike dhe asaj q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb interes publik. T\u00eb qenit artiste, k\u00ebng\u00ebtare apo figur\u00eb publike nuk e b\u00ebn jet\u00ebn seksuale t\u00eb nj\u00eb gruaje pron\u00eb publike. Interes publik mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb te m\u00ebnyra se si jan\u00eb siguruar e shp\u00ebrndar\u00eb materialet, te pyetja n\u00ebse \u00ebsht\u00eb cenuar p\u00eblqimi, te p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsia e personave t\u00eb p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb, te reagimi i institucioneve dhe te m\u00ebnyra se si platformat dhe mediat reagojn\u00eb ndaj shp\u00ebrndarjes s\u00eb tyre. Nuk ka interes publik n\u00eb pozicionet seksuale t\u00eb nj\u00eb gruaje. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ky rast nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb as i ri dhe as lokal. N\u00eb vitin 2014, kur fotografit\u00eb intime t\u00eb Jennifer Lawrence dhe dhjet\u00ebra grave t\u00eb tjera u vodh\u00ebn dhe u publikuan online, nj\u00eb prej reagimeve t\u00eb menj\u00ebhershme ishte se ato nuk duhej t\u2019i kishin b\u00ebr\u00eb fare ato fotografi. Pes\u00eb vjet m\u00eb von\u00eb, publikimi pa p\u00eblqim i fotografive intime t\u00eb kongresistes amerikane Katie Hill u nd\u00ebrthur me nj\u00eb proces publik e politik rreth marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve t\u00eb saj dhe p\u00ebrfundoi me dor\u00ebheqjen e saj. Nd\u00ebrsa n\u00eb Koren\u00eb e Jugut, filmimet e fshehta t\u00eb grave n\u00eb hap\u00ebsira intime mor\u00ebn p\u00ebrmasa t\u00eb tilla sa dhjet\u00ebra mij\u00ebra gra dol\u00ebn n\u00eb protesta n\u00ebn sloganin \u201cMy Life Is Not Your Porn\u201d. Ajo q\u00eb m\u00eb duket se i bashkon k\u00ebto raste \u00ebsht\u00eb se, sapo nj\u00eb material intim del nga hap\u00ebsira private, historia fillon t\u00eb jetoj\u00eb m\u00eb gjat\u00eb se vet\u00eb ngjarja. Ajo riciklohet, rikthehet, lidhet me emrin e gruas dhe b\u00ebhet pik\u00eb reference sa her\u00eb flitet p\u00ebr t\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mendoj se edhe reagimi feminist duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb kujdes t\u00eb mos bjer\u00eb n\u00eb kurthin tjet\u00ebr. Nuk mjafton t\u00eb themi se grat\u00eb duhet t\u00eb mbrohen sepse k\u00ebto pamje jan\u00eb private. Sepse n\u00ebse e l\u00ebm\u00eb argumentin aty, mund t\u00eb vazhdojm\u00eb ta pranojm\u00eb n\u00eb heshtje premis\u00ebn se vet\u00eb seksi \u00ebsht\u00eb turp\u00ebrues. Ka ardh\u00eb momenti ta v\u00ebm\u00eb n\u00eb pik\u00ebpyetje edhe vet\u00eb turpin. N\u00eb reagimin e saj publik, Eli Fara e formuloi pik\u00ebrisht k\u00ebt\u00eb p\u00ebrmbysje duke th\u00ebn\u00eb se \u00ebsht\u00eb e l\u00ebnduar nga cenimi i privat\u00ebsis\u00eb dhe nga gjykimet q\u00eb ka pasuar, por se nuk ka arsye t\u00eb turp\u00ebrohet. Turpi, thot\u00eb ajo, u p\u00ebrket atyre q\u00eb kan\u00eb filmuar dhe shp\u00ebrndar\u00eb materialet, jo gruas q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb ekspozuar. M\u00eb duket e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme kjo zhvendosje, sepse refuzon logjik\u00ebn sipas s\u00eb cil\u00ebs gruaja duhet t\u00eb mbaj\u00eb mbi vete jo vet\u00ebm d\u00ebmin e cenimit, por edhe barr\u00ebn morale t\u00eb tij.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
P\u00ebr mua, k\u00ebtu fillon pjesa m\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb, por edhe m\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme, e k\u00ebsaj bisede. A jemi n\u00eb gjendje ta mbrojm\u00eb nj\u00eb grua edhe kur ajo nuk i plot\u00ebson kushtet tona p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb e respektueshme? Edhe kur ka dashur seksin? Edhe kur ka pasur shum\u00eb partner\u00eb? Edhe kur ka b\u00ebr\u00eb di\u00e7ka q\u00eb ne personalisht nuk do ta b\u00ebnim? Sepse grat\u00eb nuk kan\u00eb nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb pafajshme p\u00ebr t\u00eb pasur t\u00eb drejta. Nuk duhet t\u00eb jen\u00eb monogame, t\u00eb turp\u00ebruara, t\u00eb penduara apo seksualisht t\u00eb p\u00ebrmbajtura q\u00eb privat\u00ebsia dhe dinjiteti i tyre t\u00eb vlejn\u00eb. Nj\u00eb feminiz\u00ebm q\u00eb mund t\u00eb mbroj\u00eb vet\u00ebm gruan \u201ce mir\u00eb\u201d nuk e ka rr\u00ebzuar logjik\u00ebn e respektueshm\u00ebris\u00eb; vet\u00ebm ka negociuar se cilat gra mund t\u00eb shp\u00ebtojn\u00eb prej saj.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Liria seksuale nuk fillon kur ne u japim grave leje t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb ato zgjedhje q\u00eb na duken neve t\u00eb pranueshme. Fillon kur pranojm\u00eb se ato nuk na detyrohen me shpjegim p\u00ebr zgjedhjet e tyre. Dhe reagimi ndaj k\u00ebtyre videove, m\u00eb shum\u00eb se \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb ato mund t\u00eb ken\u00eb treguar, na ka zbuluar sa larg jemi ende prej k\u00ebsaj.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ndoshta ajo q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb ndryshoj\u00eb n\u00eb fund nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00ebm m\u00ebnyra si flasim p\u00ebr k\u00ebto video, por drejtimi i kamer\u00ebs. Ktheni kamerat kah burrat. Sepse grat\u00eb jan\u00eb par\u00eb mjaftuesh\u00ebm; ajo q\u00eb ende nuk po shohim sa duhet \u00ebsht\u00eb pushteti q\u00eb vendos se kush ka t\u00eb drejt\u00eb t\u2019i shoh\u00eb, t\u2019i ekspozoj\u00eb dhe t\u2019i gjykoj\u00eb.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":13056,"template":"","class_list":["post-13058","perspective-post","type-perspective-post","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n