M\u00eb duket q\u00eb teshat e palara tallen me mua – Sizifen\u00cb, q\u00eb si gurin, \u00e7do dit\u00eb e shtyn koshin deri te lavatri\u00e7ja, e st\u00ebrmbush kazanin dhe e shtyp pull\u00ebn e programit t\u00eb shpejt\u00eb, p\u00ebr ta b\u00ebr\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn edhe nes\u00ebr, edhe pasnes\u00ebr. Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb, hap\u00ebroj r\u00ebnduesh\u00ebm n\u00ebp\u00ebr banes\u00eb me shputat n\u00eb papuqet e m\u00ebdhaja, e me Llun\u00ebn n\u00ebp\u00ebr k\u00ebmb\u00eb, dukem si ajo zonja te Tomi Xherri. Mali nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb, i preokupuar me rastet e fundit t\u00eb dhun\u00ebs kund\u00ebr grave, k\u00ebmb\u00ebngul p\u00ebr nj\u00eb diskutim ndri\u00e7ues. Nd\u00ebr t\u00eb tjera, m\u00eb pyeti edhe a duhet q\u00eb nj\u00eb grua t\u00eb vizitohet te gjinekologu burr\u00eb a grua? Kur i them se gruaja vizitohet te mjeku m\u00eb i mir\u00eb, pavar\u00ebsisht gjinis\u00eb, sepse trupi \u00ebsht\u00eb i saj dhe nuk ka pse t\u00eb pyes\u00eb ask\u00eb p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb pun\u00eb, e shoh se si p\u00ebrpiqet t\u00eb balancoj\u00eb n\u00eb kok\u00eb informatat, bindjet, kundrejt nj\u00eb mjedisi mizogjen e agresiv t\u00eb t\u00eb rinj\u00ebve n\u00eb perandorin\u00eb e Tiktokut. Televizori n\u00eb dhom\u00ebn e dit\u00ebs, me pluhur q\u00eb kishte koh\u00eb q\u00eb se kisha fshi, i pisket rezultatet e zgjedhjeve t\u00eb mes-mandatit n\u00eb Amerik\u00eb, kumbuesh\u00ebm, sa mezi e d\u00ebgjoj alarmin e telefonit p\u00ebr pul\u00ebn q\u00eb po piqej n\u00eb shporet. E z\u00ebn\u00eb mes kureshtjes p\u00ebr aren\u00ebn nd\u00ebrkomb\u00ebtare, dhe detyrimit n\u00eb aren\u00ebn sht\u00ebpiake, gjithnj\u00eb e m\u00eb shpesh kam mir\u00ebkuptim p\u00ebr Sylvia Plath. Sepse, m\u00eb shpesh se jo, pavar\u00ebsisht q\u00eb jemi t\u00eb lira, zgjedhjet p\u00ebr grat\u00eb shoq\u00ebrohen me nj\u00eb barr\u00eb gjigande q\u00eb nuk ndahet leht\u00eb me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. T\u00eb duash gjith\u00e7ka, t\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqesh pastaj t\u2019i arrish, \u00ebsht\u00eb nd\u00ebrmarrje brutale p\u00ebr grat\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
E rritur me pik\u00ebpamje t\u00eb hapura, nuk e kisha ndjer\u00eb presionin e konformimit ndaj roleve shoq\u00ebrore. P\u00ebr m\u00eb tep\u00ebr, shpesh her\u00eb m\u00eb dukej sikur trajnohesha p\u00ebr di\u00e7ka m\u00eb shum\u00eb, p\u00ebrtej k\u00ebtyre roleve. Isha bija q\u00eb e regjistronin n\u00eb kurse kompjuterash, t\u00eb anglishtes e n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb t\u00eb pianos, por edhe bija q\u00eb i rregullonin grimin dhe me nj\u00eb got\u00eb qum\u00ebsht, e p\u00ebrcillnin n\u00eb ndejat e mahallave. Megjithat\u00eb, shembujt p\u00ebrreth, n\u00eb rrug\u00eb, shkoll\u00eb e lagje, m\u00eb kishin p\u00ebrbrend\u00ebsuar nd\u00ebrdijsh\u00ebm modelin shoq\u00ebror dhe hapat e pritsh\u00ebm n\u00eb vitet q\u00eb do t\u00eb vinin: nj\u00eb her\u00eb vajza e arsimuar e dikujt, pastaj bashk\u00ebshortja fisnike e filanit, dhe n\u00eb fund, n\u00ebna vetmohuese e bij\u00ebs dhe birit. Un\u00eb doja t\u00eb b\u00ebhesha edhe n\u00ebn\u00eb dikur, por fillimisht \u00ebnd\u00ebrroja arsimimin, profesionin, pavar\u00ebsin\u00eb, dhe pranin\u00eb aty diku n\u00ebp\u00ebr bot\u00eb. Doja pra, ti kisha t\u00eb gjitha. Pas diplomimit, regjistrova menj\u00ebher\u00eb studimet p\u00ebr magjistratur\u00eb, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb, u martova. Pas martes\u00ebs, derisa krejt grat\u00eb e tjera b\u00ebheshin n\u00ebna kurdo q\u00eb donin, sa her\u00eb donin, trupit tim i duhej pak shkenc\u00eb. Pas kontrolleve t\u00eb shpeshta, incizimeve t\u00eb thella t\u00eb trurit, shpimeve t\u00eb p\u00ebrjavshme me hormone t\u00eb llojllojshme, dhe nj\u00eb kalendar dashnie, mbeta shtatz\u00ebn\u00eb. N\u00ebnt\u00eb muajve t\u00eb gjata mundimesh, g\u00ebzimesh, planifikimesh, iu erdh fundi dy dit\u00eb para Krishtlindjes, kur u b\u00ebra n\u00ebn\u00eb p\u00ebr her\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb. Lindja ishte krejt\u00ebsisht e natyrshme, matreshenca nd\u00ebrkaq, me zuri krejt t\u00eb pap\u00ebrgatitur. Melankolia pas lindjes, trauma fizike, barazpesha hormonale, ri-programimi i trurit, donin koh\u00eb. Shoq\u00ebria n\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr pret n\u00ebna t\u00eb lumtura, me flok\u00eb t\u00eb krehura, e me foshnj\u00ebn n\u00eb krah, tek dalin nga materniteti. Edhe pushimi madje quhet \u201ci lindjes\u201d, a \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb s\u00eb paku pushim. Net\u00eb pagjum\u00eb, gjidh\u00ebnie pa orar, presion p\u00ebr tu ushqyer mir\u00eb, nj\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00eb e sapob\u00ebr\u00eb shpesh \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe e vetme n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. E pos nd\u00ebrrimit t\u00eb pelenave, at\u00eb e ngulfat edhe kriza identitare se megjithat\u00eb, ajo – grua, nuk ka pushuar s\u00eb ekzistuari, n\u00eb momentin q\u00eb u b\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb, sapo kisha p\u00ebrfunduar semestrin e magjistratur\u00ebs, si dhe ligj\u00ebratat, me student\u00ebt n\u00eb universitetin ku punoja. Pra, isha n\u00ebn\u00eb e nj\u00eb foshnjeje vajz\u00eb, studente e nj\u00eb programi goxha k\u00ebrkues p\u00ebr magjistratur\u00eb, dhe ligj\u00ebruese n\u00eb departamentin e shkencave politike, t\u00eb gjitha nj\u00ebher\u00ebsh. Bashk\u00ebshorti im, nd\u00ebrkaq punonte n\u00eb nj\u00eb kompani private, dhe me tu kthyer nga puna, e merrte Bor\u00ebn dhe dilte p\u00ebr sh\u00ebtitje p\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00eb dh\u00ebn\u00eb nj\u00eb 1 or\u00eb qet\u00ebsi. Por un\u00eb prap\u00eb vuaja. Dyshoja n\u00eb mos nuk jam e prer\u00eb p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb pun\u00eb. E konsideroja veten defekt, se duhej medoemos t\u2019isha n\u00eb gjendje ti b\u00ebja t\u00eb gjitha, dhe pa u ndjer\u00eb n\u00eb faj, as at\u00ebher\u00eb kur e lija Bor\u00ebn me Ardin p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndjekur ligj\u00ebratat tri-or\u00ebshe t\u00eb pasdites. E burrat, edhe kur b\u00ebhen baballar\u00eb, kurr\u00ebn e kurr\u00ebs nuk pyeten se me k\u00eb i l\u00ebjn\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt kur shkojn\u00eb n\u00eb ligj\u00ebrata, apo kush kujdeset p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt kur burrat dalin p\u00ebr nj\u00eb birr\u00eb n\u00eb kafenen\u00eb e lagjes. Kaq vjet i kam dhe kurr\u00eb s\u2019kam d\u00ebgjuar dik\u00eb ta pyes nj\u00eb burr\u00eb: \u201c\u00c7ka ke me me bo p\u00ebr drek\u00eb sot?\u201d Se shoq\u00ebria, pret q\u00eb burrat vet\u00ebm t\u00eb sjellin buk\u00ebn n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi; e grat\u00eb, ta b\u00ebjn\u00eb buk\u00ebn edhe at\u00ebher\u00eb kur e sjellin n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. Dhe sikur t\u00eb mos mjaftonin krejt k\u00ebto, grat\u00eb statistikisht, jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb kujdesen p\u00ebr sht\u00ebpin\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb se burrat, por jan\u00eb ato q\u00eb pritet t\u00eb marrin p\u00ebrsip\u00ebr edhe kujdesin jasht\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb. N\u00eb \u201cgjenerat\u00ebn e sandui\u00e7it\u201d, (Miller dhe Brody, 1981),<\/em> pra at\u00eb t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs s\u00eb mesme kur njer\u00ebzit zihen n\u00eb mes p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsis\u00eb s\u00eb rritjes s\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve n\u00eb nj\u00eb an\u00eb, dhe kujdesit p\u00ebr prind\u00ebrit e moshuar n\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr, grat\u00eb s\u00ebrish kryesojn\u00eb me mbi 60% si bart\u00ebse kryesore t\u00eb kujdesit. E sipas UN Women<\/a>, n\u00eb nivel global, grat\u00eb kryejn\u00eb tri her\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb pun\u00eb t\u00eb kujdesit dhe t\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb sesa burrat, pavar\u00ebsisht a kan\u00eb edhe nj\u00eb pun\u00eb me pag\u00eb ose jo. Nejse, nuk na duhet studimi p\u00ebr t\u00eb na hapur syt\u00eb, se ne ve\u00e7 jemi ky \u201ctri her\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb\u201d. N\u00eb mos edhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pra \u00e7mimi q\u00eb grat\u00eb paguajn\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019i pasur t\u00eb gjitha \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb i lart\u00eb. Madje edhe at\u00ebher\u00eb kur shoq\u00ebria i rahaton me profesione q\u00eb njihen p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsisht si \u201cprofesione t\u00eb jakave roz\u00eb\u201d: infermiere, m\u00ebsuese, edukatore, q\u00eb me mujt me i eksploatu masnej edhe n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, por pa pages\u00eb, n\u00eb \u201cnd\u00ebrrimin e dyt\u00eb\u201d.<\/em> Arlie Russell Hochschild, (1989), na e sqaron tutje k\u00ebt\u00eb \u201crevolucion t\u00eb ngecur\u201d,<\/em> ku derisa grat\u00eb jan\u00eb p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb n\u00eb mas\u00eb t\u00eb madhe n\u00eb fuqin\u00eb pun\u00ebtore, burrat nuk jan\u00eb p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb as p\u00ebraf\u00ebrsisht nj\u00ebjt\u00eb n\u00eb pun\u00ebt e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb. Shto k\u00ebtu edhe kapitalizmin, q\u00eb p\u00ebrkund\u00ebr rritjes ekonomike, ka shtuar or\u00ebt e pun\u00ebs, ka zhdukur pothuajse darkat e familjes, e grat\u00eb i ka detyruar t\u00eb funksionojn\u00eb si makina. E sot, ironikisht, derisa teknologjia me krejt veglat e inteligjenc\u00ebs artificiale pretendon pun\u00eb t\u00eb shkurtuar dhe m\u00eb efektive, pse po vazhdojm\u00eb me oraret e nj\u00ebjta n\u00eb pun\u00eb? P\u00ebr \u00e7ka po na lirohen duart\u00eb dhe koha realisht? At\u00ebher\u00eb mos na zgjoni derisa inteligjenca artificiale t\u00eb siguroj\u00eb ndihm\u00eb n\u00eb pun\u00ebt e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb dhe kujdesit. Se \u00ebndrrat jan\u00eb luks p\u00ebr nj\u00eb grua n\u00eb mes-mosh\u00eb, n\u00eb mes t\u00eb nj\u00eb tornadoje hormonale, padukshm\u00ebris\u00eb gjithnj\u00eb e m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe n\u00eb vendin e pun\u00ebs, f\u00ebmij\u00ebve tinejxher\u00eb e adult\u00eb t\u00eb rinj, prind\u00ebrve me telashe t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs dhe pyetjes s\u00eb p\u00ebrhershme: \u00c7ka ka p\u00ebr drek\u00eb?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTi mund t\u2019i kesh t\u00eb gjitha\u201d<\/em> na kan\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb, por kan\u00eb harruar t\u00eb shtojn\u00eb, se ka me na kushtu shtrenjt\u00eb dhe barra ka me qen\u00eb thyese. Kalau<\/em> thot\u00eb se kjo mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb \u201cnj\u00eb nga \u2018g\u00ebnjeshtrat\u2019 m\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebdha q\u00eb feminizmi u ka shitur grave. Jo pse ambicia \u00ebsht\u00eb gabim, por sepse matematika prapa k\u00ebsaj nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e sinqert\u00eb\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mami im e p\u00ebrfundoi fakultetin tek pasi u b\u00eb gjyshe. P\u00ebr ta realizuar andrr\u00ebn, asaj i ishte dashur nj\u00eb her\u00eb t\u00eb rriste f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, t\u00eb kujdesej p\u00ebr sht\u00ebpin\u00eb, dhe t\u00eb punonte si m\u00ebsuese, me orar \u201ct\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatsh\u00ebm\u201d. Si f\u00ebmij\u00eb, mbaj n\u00eb mend q\u00eb ajo gjithmon\u00eb e fundit binte p\u00ebr t\u00eb fjetur, pasi i lante en\u00ebt, e nxjerrte mishin nga frizi, dhe i lyente thonjt\u00eb me ngjyr\u00eb t\u00eb kuqe. Flente pak, mbase pamjaftuesh\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb \u00ebnd\u00ebrruar. Si shumica e grave dikur. Sot, pavar\u00ebsisht trendit inkurajues q\u00eb grat\u00eb e reja m\u00eb shum\u00eb po e d\u00ebgjojn\u00eb veten se shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb, s\u00ebrish ngritet pyetja: cila \u00ebsht\u00eb alternativa? Se di p\u00ebr bes\u00eb. Ka p\u00ebrparim n\u00eb mend\u00ebsi, kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb e dukshme. E sheh te baballar\u00ebt e t\u00eb dielave n\u00eb m\u00ebngjes me bebet n\u00eb gjoks, te burrat me p\u00ebrpar\u00ebse n\u00eb kuzhin\u00eb, e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt q\u00eb i \u00e7ojn\u00eb k\u00ebmishat p\u00ebr hekurosje n\u00eb pastrim kimik, (edhe ky \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebrparim). Por akoma nuk jemi as af\u00ebr ku do t\u00eb donim t\u00eb ishim. Sht\u00ebpia nuk mund t\u00eb mbahet ve\u00e7 n\u00eb kurriz t\u00eb grave. E mbase ka ardhur koha p\u00ebr nj\u00eb grev\u00eb masive dhe bojkot t\u00eb gjithmbarsh\u00ebm, si Dita e Pushimit<\/em><\/a> n\u00eb Island\u00eb. At\u00ebher\u00eb kur n\u00eb vitin 1975, kur 90% e grave nuk shkuan n\u00eb pun\u00eb, hoq\u00ebn dor\u00eb nga pun\u00ebt e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb e kujdesit ndaj f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, dhe v\u00ebrshuan rrug\u00ebt krah\u00eb p\u00ebr krah. Burrat nd\u00ebrkaq akoma e vajtojn\u00eb t\u00eb \u201cPremten e Gjat\u00eb\u201d,<\/em> dit\u00ebn kur fabrikat ndal\u00ebn prodhimin, \u00e7erdhet e shkollat u mbyll\u00ebn, shitoret nuk punuan dhe burrat u detyruan t\u2019i merrnin f\u00ebmij\u00ebt n\u00eb pun\u00eb, e t\u00eb hanin buk\u00eb e djath\u00eb p\u00ebr dark\u00eb. Dhe ishte kjo grev\u00eb dhe ky bojkot ajo q\u00eb solli miratimin e ligjit t\u00eb par\u00eb p\u00ebr barazi gjinore n\u00eb Island\u00eb dhe hapi rrug\u00ebn p\u00ebr zgjedhjen e Vigd\u00eds Finnbogad\u00f3ttir, presidentes s\u00eb par\u00eb grua, n\u00eb vitin 1980.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tash, presidente s\u2019mund t\u00eb b\u00ebhemi t\u00eb gjitha, edhe pse Kosova ka dh\u00ebn\u00eb shembullin se nj\u00eb gj\u00eb e till\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e pamundur. Madje kur ta mendosh, ma para b\u00ebhesh Presidente se sa t\u00eb shoh\u00ebsh dit\u00ebn kur pun\u00ebt ndahen pak m\u00eb barabart\u00eb. Por t\u00eb nisim nj\u00eb her\u00eb me nj\u00eb Kabinet t\u00eb Shpis\u00eb, ku secili e ka rolin dhe p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsin\u00eb e vet: aty ku grat\u00eb mund t\u00eb flejn\u00eb gjum\u00eb, t\u00eb \u00ebnd\u00ebrrojn\u00eb dhe t\u00eb mos ju kushton shum\u00eb pastaj t\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Se na mundemi me b\u00eb ndryshimin. Ve\u00e7 le t\u2019i lan\u00eb edhe najkush tjet\u00ebr en\u00ebt n\u00eb shpi, naj her\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":12027,"template":"","class_list":["post-13252","perspective-post","type-perspective-post","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n